if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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