Farmville is her only friend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
