i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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