the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
