Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
