hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
