The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
