before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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