sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
