I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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