You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sorry about my life...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
