Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
