thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize