once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
