dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
