Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
