last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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