Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
