so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
