I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
