My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
