Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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