after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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