I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
