She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize