I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
