**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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