Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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