You just made me feel so damn special
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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