dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
