did you get engaged???
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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