You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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