i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize