i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
