How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
