He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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