There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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