Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
