real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
