omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
