capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
