ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
