Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize