I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
