I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
