I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and she was petting her beer can
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
