Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
