So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
