you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
