How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize