She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
