ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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