she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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