he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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