Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
