this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
