Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
