You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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